


'cause living like this is risking all that i know, and if it kills me, that's how i wanna go

by nerdyscully (dalecooperscoffee)



Category: Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Texting, basically the development of seth and stefon's relationship, stefon doesn't sleep, through little vignettes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 21:30:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20842304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalecooperscoffee/pseuds/nerdyscully
Summary: or, 5 times Stefon woke Seth Meyers up in the middle of the night, and 1 time that Seth woke Stefon up.





	'cause living like this is risking all that i know, and if it kills me, that's how i wanna go

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first fic for these two, though i've wanted to write for them for ages now. this is quite fluffy (par for the course with me), and it's my very first time writing a 5 times fic. this fic uses a lot of tropes, both from stuff i've read in other sethon fics and just fanfic tropes in general, lol. apologies for any mistakes, i'm so tired so this isn't proofread that thoroughly. still, i hope you enjoy it!

**i.**

The first time Stefon woke Seth Meyers up in the middle of the night was through text. Seth didn’t silence his phone; he was too worried that he would miss something during the night and be in a load of trouble when he woke up. It drove his girlfriend crazy, but she found a way to sleep through it after awhile. So when he heard his phone dinging, he simply rolled over and squinted as the screen flashed bright in his tired eyes. The person texting him tonight was...Stefon?

**Stefon 3:23 AM** **  
** _ hi seth meyers _  


**Seth 3:24 AM**

_ Hi, Stefon. Did you need something? What’s going on? _

**Stefon 3:25 AM**

_ well i just got back from ny’s hottest club PUUUUSH _

_ and stefon was thinking abt a lot of things _

_ like u ;))))) _

_ but also just deep things abt life _

Seth knew he should’ve been annoyed. He should’ve told Stefon to go to bed and that they’d talk in the morning, or hell, even block his number until then. But he didn’t want to. He kind of wanted to know what Stefon was thinking so deeply about. He kept him on his toes like that. 

**Seth 3:28 AM**

_ What are you thinking about? _

**Stefon 3:29 AM**

_ ohh stefon has a very important question for u seth meyers _

(Okay, now Seth was starting to get a little worried.)

**Stefon 3:30 AM**

_ would u fuck ur clone???? _

**Seth 3:34 AM**

**  
** _ What? _

**Stefon 3:35 AM**

**  
** _ if someone made a clone of you _

_ which they totally should btw~ _

_ and u met ur clone and he wanted to fuck...would u? :PPPP _

**Seth 3:39 AM**

_ I have many questions about this. First of all, why would they make a clone of me? Secondly, why would my clone wanna fuck me? And finally, how did you think of this? _

**Stefon 3:41 AM**

**  
** _ ur so cute seth meyers _

_ u text just like u talk i love it _

_ sooooo cute <3 _

_ don’t think abt it too hard _

_ also who wouldn’t wanna fuck u, u kno? :PPP _

**Seth 3:45 AM**

_ Stefon, I’m sorry to say that I don’t think I’d fuck my clone. It seems weird. I don’t want to have sex with someone who looks exactly like me. _

**Stefon 3:47 AM**

_ aaaaaawwww seth meyers is so vanilla _

_ cute <3 _

_ i’d fuck my clone no questions asked ;) _

**Seth 3:49 AM**

_ That…really doesn’t surprise me, Stefon. _

He was chuckling at his phone screen, but he didn’t notice til he felt his girlfriend roll over and mumble “Who’re you texting at this hour?” 

“Oh, sorry, um, work thing,” he said. It was technically sort of true.

“Seems late for work stuff, but whatever,” she said, rolling over again.

“I’ll be asleep soon,” Seth replied, but he got the feeling she wasn’t listening to him anymore. He looked back to his phone.

  


**Stefon 3:53 AM**

_ i have a sense of adventure seth meyers _

_ you should try _

**Seth 3:55 AM**

_ I think you and I have very different ideas of what a sense of adventure is, but that’s okay. _

_ I really have to get back to sleep, Stefon, sorry to cut this short. _

**Stefon 3:57 AM**

_ okaaaaaaaay _

_ i get it _

_ u gotta go back to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time tmrw _

_ sounds boring :PPPPP _

**Seth 3:59 AM**

_ It’s not that boring. _

_ Goodnight, Stefon. Be safe tonight. _

**Stefon 4:01 AM**

_ sweet dreams, seth meyers ;P <3333333 _

**Seth 4:03 AM**

_ Oh, and for the record. _

_ I am NOT vanilla. _

When Seth turned his phone back off and settled back into bed, he realized he hadn’t really wanted to stop talking to Stefon. He would’ve discussed the merits of fucking your clone all night with him.

Something about that guy did weird things to him.

**ii. **

The second time Stefon woke Seth Meyers up in the middle of the night wasn’t through text message, but phone call. He picked it up instantly, eyes still closed. You never knew what could be happening. Maybe a relative had died. He heard his girlfriend groan a little beside him. “Hello?” He asked.

“Um, hi,” a breathy voice answered, and Seth’s eyes shot open.

“Stefon?” Okay, now he _ definitely _heard his girlfriend groan. “What are you calling me for?”

“Um, Stefon’s, like, alone in New York right now because _ all _ his friends--well, they’re not _ really _ friends, you know how it is Seth Meyers--went home with someone else. And I can _ not _ get a cab to save my life tonight,” Stefon said, and Seth heard the sounds of New York behind him. His thoughts immediately went to the weather; it was not warm in NYC these days, and he knew Stefon didn’t exactly bundle up.

“Do you need a ride? Where are you?” He asked, knowing he probably shouldn’t have been so willing to just jump out of bed for his….friend? Yeah, they were friends. Either way, he probably should’ve told Stefon to find another ride and stop contacting him so late at night. He _ should’ve, _ but he didn’t like to even consider it. What kind of person would he be if he just left Stefon out there? So he got out of bed and fumbled for some clothes.

“I’m on, uhh...the Lower-Upper-West side, on 420th and that Made Up Street from Seinfeld. You know where that is, right?”

Of course, Seth didn’t. No one knew where that was. He was pretty sure that just existed in Stefon’s imagination. “Um, does your phone have that thing where you can send me your location?” He asked.

“Oh! Yesyesyes,” Stefon replied. “I’ll do that right now, Seth Meyers.”

“Thanks. I’ll be there soon, just...be safe, okay?” He was sure Stefon didn’t necessarily need to hear that, but Seth being the person he was, worried.

“I will, Seth Meyers,” he said, “As soon as the ground stops spinning.”

_ Oh dear, _Seth thought, hanging up and rummaging around for his keys. “What the fuck are you doing?” His girlfriend looked at him through squinted eyes.

“It’s, uh, Stefon, he’s kind of stranded in NYC and needs a ride.”

“He seriously couldn’t find _ anyone _ else?”

“No, all his friends left. I’m not just gonna leave him out there, it’s like 20 degrees.”

She sighed. “Fine. But tell him this is a one-time thing, okay? I don’t think you should be running out of the house at all hours just because someone needs help. It’s okay to say ‘no’, y’know.”

He knew. But the vision of a high and drunk Stefon standing on a street corner in God-Knows-Where, NYC, shivering, made something pang in his chest. It wasn’t avoidable. “I won’t be too long,” Seth promised, grabbed his keys and went to his car. He listened to his phone telling him where to go, and sure enough, when it told him he had arrived, he saw Stefon sitting on the sidewalk. He rolled his window down and waved. “Hey, buddy, you alright?” He asked.

Stefon’s head lifted. “Oh, Seth Meyers! Thank you!” He exclaimed, running to get in the passenger’s side of the car. 

“Are you okay?” Seth asked again. “You must be freezing.”

“I am, a little,” Stefon admitted, fiddling with the dials to turn the heat on. “Sorry, I just had a bad trip and all my friends left and, well, you know.”

Seth’s brow furrowed. “Your _ friends _ left you alone during a bad trip?”

“No, just when I was coming down from it, and that was a while ago now,” Stefon brought his hands to his mouth, blowing hot air on them. “I’m okay now. Stefon has had lots of bad trips before.”

“Well, if you say so...but I think I’m gonna take you to my place tonight.”

“Seth _ Meyers! _ ” Stefon gasped. “Isn’t it too sudden? Or, not sudden enough. But look at me! I’m not prepared for _ that! _”

Seth chuckled. “Stefon. That’s not what I mean. I just want to keep an eye on you, okay? I know you live alone, and...I just wanna be careful. I’ve got an extra bedroom for you.”

“Yay for sleepovers at Seth Meyers’ house!” Stefon cheered. Seth relaxed a little--at least he wasn’t seriously hurt, but you could never be too careful.

_ Or maybe I just want Stefon at my house tonight, _ a voice nagged in the back of his mind. _ Maybe we haven’t seen each other for a few weeks because they haven’t asked him to return to Update for a bit and you miss him. _ He sighed, louder than he intended to. These kind of things were not ideal to think about in the wee hours of the morning. 

“Are you okay, Seth Meyers?” Stefon asked.

“Huh? Oh,” he looked over at him, finding it bemusing that Stefon was the one asking _ him _ if he was okay. “Yeah, just tired.”

Stefon gave a little guilty smile. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault, buddy. I’m glad you called.”

Stefon told Seth all about the club-hopping he had done and how he was _ never _ going to get acid from that Stuck Up Kitten Who Won’t Sign Autographs again during the drive home, and he listened, occasionally making a comment or simply saying “What?”. It was a comfortable, easy sort of conversation. When they got to Seth’s apartment, Stefon was pointed in the direction of the guest room and promised some clothes to sleep in.

Seth tried to walk carefully into his bedroom as to not wake his girlfriend, but she was already awake. “He get home okay?” She asked.

“Um, Stefon is...here, actually.”

“_ What? _”

“Yeah, he’s pretty under the influence and I didn’t want him to be alone. He’ll just be in the guest room, okay?” 

She groaned. “You don’t realize how many things he’s inserted himself into, do you?”

“He’s not inserting himself into anything, I just--”

“Actually, you know what, Seth, I don’t want to talk about this right now,” she sighed. “I just want to try and get some more sleep. I just wish you’d learn to say ‘no’ to him. That’s all.” She laid on her stomach, closing her eyes and not saying anything more.

_ I don’t _ want _ to say no to him, _ Seth thought, and it was the first time he realized it. A little alarmed by this discovery, he made his way to the guest room and gave him some clothes to sleep in. “I’m going to bed. Here’s some clothes.”

“Thank you, Seth Meyers. These pants are a little...short,” he commented, holding up the sweatpants.

Seth chuckled. “Yeah, to someone as tall as you. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Your height is cute.”

Seth shook his head, smiling nonetheless. “Goodnight, Stefon.”

“G’night, Seth Meyers.”

**iii.**

The third time Stefon woke Seth up in the middle of the night, it was through a knock on his door. To be fair, Seth wasn’t fully asleep, just sort of drifting on the edge of sleep and awareness. He reluctantly got up and walked to the door, hoping he wasn’t about to get kidnapped or some shit. When he opened the door, Stefon was there, holding alcohol and a grocery bag. “Hi, Seth Meyers.”

“Hi, Stefon. It’s 1 in the morning, you know that, right?”

“Oh, yes, of course. I just...I couldn’t stop thinking about how you told me you and your girlfriend broke up a few days ago. I thought I could help, but I didn’t wake up til 10 PM tonight, so…”

“Come in, Stefon,” Seth said before he could continue. “Thank you. But you didn’t have to do all this.”

“Stefon _ knows _ he didn’t have to do all this. I just thought I would do something nice,” he said, putting the bag on the counter. “Breakups are awful.”

“Yeah...but I think sometimes a relationship has just run its course,” Seth shrugged. That was how it was with him and his now-ex. It was actually quite an amicable split, though she had said something along the lines of “We both know I’m not who you want anymore”, and it had stuck with Seth. Frankly, it had been keeping him up at night. “I’m doing alright,” he told Stefon, which was mostly true.

“Still. I got chocolate, chips and dip, some vodka, and...oh those pills are mine,” he pocketed the bottle of pills quickly. Seth raised an eyebrow, but was too tired to comment. 

“This is really nice of you, Stefon. I thought you’d be out at a club or something tonight.”

He shrugged. “Everyone needs a break, even Stefon.”

Seth never thought about that. “Well, let’s take a break then.” He got some glasses out of the cabinet and set them down on the counter, filling them with vodka. He took a cautious sip, trying not to make a face as it burned its way down his throat. He must’ve failed, because Stefon was laughing, hands in front of his face. 

“Sorry, Seth Meyers, should’ve gotten whiskey.”

“It’s okay,” Seth said, “I’m just gonna...put some water in it. Not very exciting, I know.”

Stefon had already finished his glass. “You don’t have to be exciting for me to like you, you know.”

Seth stopped in his tracks on the way to the sink, looking behind his shoulder at the other man standing in his kitchen. Stefon’s tone was so sincere and almost gentle. It was something Seth had never heard before out of him, and it touched him, even though the words were so simple. It sank into his skin and stayed there, and a warmth bloomed in his chest. 

What would he do without Stefon?

“I know, Stefon. Thank you. For all of this.” He didn’t realize how much he needed it until now.

They made their way to the living room, spreading out their snacks and drinks on the coffee table and turning on MTV at low volume. They were actually playing music videos, and Stefon had a comment on every single one of them. He had sprawled himself over Seth’s couch, long legs dangling off the edge. Seth had been basically banished to the floor, but he didn’t give Stefon grief for it. Yet, anyway. He was too busy laughing with chips in his mouth as Stefon gave a nearly scholarly analysis on “Yeah!” by Usher. 

Seth didn’t know how long they sat there, bantering back and forth, but a few glasses of vodka in, Stefon got off the couch to get some water (“I don’t want to be _ too _ hungover, Seth Meyers, I have things to do!”), dancing the whole way. Seth laughed and snapped a picture of it on his phone when Stefon wasn’t looking. It was a nice picture, he decided, even though it was dimly lit and blurry. You could still see the crinkle of Stefon’s nose and his bright smile. _ I’m keeping this, _ Seth told himself. 

“It’s almost 3 AM already, Seth Meyers,” Stefon sing-songed as he returned from the kitchen. “Should we get you to bed?”

Seth shook his head, but a yawn came immediately after. He wasn’t drunk, but the vodka was definitely working on him; he felt a little looser than usual and words fell off his tongue easily. And he must’ve been getting old (he _ was _, though he didn’t like to admit it), because it was also making him sleepy. “I’m fine,” he protested still.

“C’mon,” Stefon reached out a hand, helping his friend up. “You’ve got tired eyes.”

Seth couldn’t find any points to argue with, so he just sighed. “I can get to bed myself.”

“Well, alright. I guess I wanted to fulfill my fantasy of taking Seth Meyers to bed,” Stefon shot him a wink.

“Stefon,” he attempted to scold, but he just ended up laughing. “Where are you gonna go? Out?”

“Maybe. I’ll see if Shy wants to have 3 AM IHOP. It’s a kind of tradition we have.”

“Or,” Seth said before he could stop himself, “You can stay here. Might as well, right?”

“You know I can’t say no to you,” Stefon wiggled his eyebrows, his tongue peeking out and resting in the corner of his lips. But it’s all in good fun. It always is. “I can stay in that same guest room?”

_ Stay with me. Sleep in my bed. _Seth thought, but didn’t dare say it out loud. He wasn’t that boozed-up, and he was too...scared. Scared was the only word he had for it. His feelings toward Stefon never used to be confusing, and then things started rising to the surface--things he had tried to push down before. It was becoming exceedingly hard to continue doing that. “Yeah, same guest room, and, not to steal you and Shy’s thing, but if you want, we can go out for normal-time IHOP.”

Stefon grinned. “I don’t think Shy will mind. That sounds nice.”

“It does. Just take whatever clothes you want from my dresser, _ within reason, _” he made sure to clarify. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth.”

“I’ll be a very good boy,” Stefon promised, kissing Seth on the cheek. It wasn’t the same as the cheeky kisses they had shared on air; rather, it was friendly and comforting and thankful. “Goodnight, Seth Meyers.”

Seth was blushing, but they both ignored it. “Goodnight, Stefon.”

  
**iv.**

The fourth time Stefon woke Seth Meyers up in the middle of the night, they were sleeping next to each other. “Seth? Seth Meyers? Mr. Meyers? Hello?” He asked as he shook him lightly. Seth groaned and sat up quickly.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He asked. They were on vacation in the Bahamas, and he had been dead asleep after a few too many mai-tais at dinner. 

“You like me, right?”

Seth’s forehead wrinkled. “What? Of course, Stefon.” He could’ve thought a little deeper about _ how _ he liked Stefon and _ how much _ , exactly, but it was too late for that. Yeah, they were on vacation (a strictly platonic one) that Seth had invited Stefon to and they _ had _ gotten stuck in the hotel room with only one bed, but as far as things went at the moment, they were friends. It had only been a month or so since their night in after Seth’s breakup, and he was still standing on uneven ground about the whole thing. 

In simpler terms, he was still scared, but he was starting to get fed up with being scared. He wondered if Stefon would slip away from him if he continued to be scared. 

But at the moment, he was mostly concerned as to why Stefon was waking him up in the middle of the night to ask if he _ liked _ him. “Stefon, what…?”

“Sorry, Seth Meyers. I just worry about these things, and I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t stop thinking about if you like me or not.”

“Stefon,” he said, “Of course I like you. I invited you on this vacation, didn’t I?”

“I know. I guess I just was wondering. You’re a nice person, Seth Meyers, you do nice things. So I was worried that maybe you just did this to be nice to Stefon,” he looked down at his hands, still covered in rings. “I know we’re from, like, two different worlds.”

“We’ve watched one too many romcoms together, Stefon,” he said, “It doesn’t matter if we’re from ‘two different worlds’ or whatever. I like you. I promise.” He saw a small smile appear on Stefon’s face. “Do you believe me?”

Stefon nodded, finally making eye contact. “Yeah, I do. You can go back to sleep,” He said, giving him a sheepish smile. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s okay,” Seth said, leaning up to give Stefon a kiss on the cheek. “Get some rest, okay? We’re supposed to go ziplining tomorrow.”

  
“Oooh! But I’m scared of heights! Will you be there for me?”

“Of course I will. Goodnight, Stefon.”

“Nighty-night, Seth Meyers.”

  
**v.**

The fifth time Stefon woke Seth Meyers up was on their wedding night.

“Hey, Seth Meyers,” he said gently, nudging him. “You should probably put some clothes on before you sleep, huh?” Seth was wearing nothing but a disheveled button-up shirt that had kind of a suspicious stain on it.

“Don’t wannaaaa,” Seth groaned, exhausted and blissful from many rounds of just-married sex. 

“You sound like me,” Stefon said with a giggle, “And we just got married! Oh no!”

“If I start talking about New York’s Hottest Clubs, just slap me,” Seth curled up on his side, looking up at his new husband. “Have you looked in a mirror? You have the best sex hair right now.”

“Oh God, Stefon doesn’t dare,” he replied, running a hand through his tangled hair.

“It’s so cute,” Seth said, reaching up to touch a finger to Stefon’s nose teasingly. Stefon swatted his hand away, still giggling. 

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he said. “I’m...well, sticky. Would you care to join me?”

Seth nodded. Though it was hard to get out of bed, he knew that he would feel less sticky himself. “Might as well. I don’t wanna go anywhere without my husband right now.” He had made a point of saying ‘husband’ at every opportunity, mostly just out of pure, giddy, newlywed happiness, and also to make it more real to himself. 

“God, getting married has turned you into a total _ sap. _ I love it!” Stefon declared, pulling Seth by the hand to the shower. 

“Me, too,” he decided. They only messed around a little in the shower, both of them pretty exhausted after what was easily one of the most eventful days of _ both _ of their lives. After their quick shower, clad only in underwear, they fell into bed together. Their bodies rested against each other, Seth throwing an arm around Stefon and kissing his cheek. “I can barely keep my eyes open,” he mumbled.

Stefon returned the kiss, pressing his lips to Seth’s temple. “I’ll be here in the morning.”

“I will, too.”

“I know. Isn’t it exciting?” Stefon smiled, and though he saw it through sleepy eyes, Seth was sure he hadn’t seen a nicer smile. “Goodnight, Seth Meyers. I love you.”

“‘Night, Stefon. I love you too.”

**one. **

Stefon woke slowly to the sound of crying and his husband’s voice whispering, “Hey, Stefon? Hey, sweetie, I’m so sorry…”

Stefon immediately reached his arms out. “Kevin wants me, huh?”

“Yeah. I’ve been trying to calm him down, but I think he’s been wanting you.”

“Aww, c’mere,” Stefon cooed, taking little Kevin in his arms and kissing the top of his head. “Little guy misses his mommy and daddy, huh?” He rocked him back and forth, making soft soothing noises as he did. Seth watched, an incredulous expression on his face.

“You’re so good with him,” he whispered. Kevin had stopped crying and was now reaching for Stefon’s finger, gripping onto it. “He loves you so much.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Stefon said, “He loves you too. He’s just six months, he needs a lot of attention and love from both of us.” He pressed a kiss to the top of his son’s head. “Even though he usually wants it when we’re trying to sleep.”

“How rude of him,” Seth joked. “But he gets it from someone…”

“Huh?”

“You used to wake me up in the middle of the night all the time. Texting me or calling me or asking me questions that you just thought of on the spot. You remember, don’t you?” Seth asked, smiling fondly through the exhaustion. 

Stefon had to admit he did remember. “Yeah, but then I became a father. I never used to understand why people slept.”

“It’s a crazy concept, right?” 

“Don’t make fun of me, Seth Meyers.” He looked down at Kevin, who was asleep again, still holding onto Stefon’s finger. “Sleep tight, Kevvy,” he whispered. “I’m gonna put him back in the crib. Go back to sleep, you have work tomorrow.” He gently chided his husband, allowing him to give his son a kiss on the forehead before he took him to the nursery.

When he came back, Seth was still awake. “Thought you’d be out cold, hubby,” Stefon said. He knew Seth wasn’t wild about the nickname, but he loved it.

“I fall asleep better when you’re next to me,” Seth said, cozying up to him as he settled under the covers. “Kevin should start sleeping through the night soon. I hope.”

“I don’t mind. I’d do anything for that little guy,” Stefon said. “I really would.”

“We’ve made a nice little family, haven’t we? You, me, Bark Ruffalo, Frisbee, and Kevin.” Seth mused. 

“Never would’ve imagined it,” Stefon said. It was true. If someone had told him five years ago that he’d give up coke, get married to his biggest crush, and have a _ child _ with him, he would’ve...spat vodka in their face out of surprise, and also probably say he didn’t have a coke problem. He wouldn’t have believed that he would be happier this way, but he didn’t need the approval of Stefon from five years ago. “I’m happy with this life, though.” He said.

“Me, too. I’m glad I wasn’t too scared to give it a shot,” Seth replied, kissing lazily at Stefon’s shoulder. “Gotta sleep, like you said. Have work tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Seth Meyers. I love you.”

“Goodnight, Stefon. I love you, too.”

Stefon didn’t doubt it anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to taron, gus, and lauryn, all of whom have listened to me ramble about these two WAY too much and encouraged me to write this fic. also, seth meyers' real dog is named frisbee so i had to include him along with bark ruffalo. also, i read somewhere on tumblr that seth said him and stefon had a child named kevin, after the club ("....kevin....??"), so i had to include him as well! thank you again for reading, comments and kudos are very appreciated! xoxoxoxoxox


End file.
